How you ever felt afraid when you are making art?  I do.  The fear of ruining it.  The fear of it not being what I imagined it would be.  The fear of so many things.

I am tired of fear.  So, when Fear stopped by my studio today I invited her in for a Diet Coke.  Turns out Fear is a pretty nice lady who means well but is a bit extreme.

As we talked I began to respect how Fear serves and motivates me at times.  Fear of paying late fees gets me to pay my bills on time.  Fear of car accidents gets me to put my seat belt on when I drive.  Fear of cavities gets me to brush my teeth and floss twice a day.  Okay, I only floss once a day.  Fear said that is what she wants to do – help motivate me.

“But sometimes you are a bit strong and I find it hard to do what you are telling me.  So hard in fact I am often frozen,” I said.

“You are supposed to think about what I am showing you and then decide your own path.  I am not supposed to decide what you do,” replied Fear.  Oops.  I misunderstood fear.  Since I had her in my studio I brought out a painting that was stalled due to fear.

“I was afraid of the nose.  I tried a little but it was the ugliest nose ever,” I said.

Fear replied,”It was the ugliest nose.  But why did you stop?”

“I didn’t know how to draw a nose. ”

“Do you now?”

“YES!  I took a workshop that taught me the fundamentals of face drawing and I learned tons about shading and especially noses.  I searched out that class because I realized I didn’t have the technical skills I wanted/needed.”  Fear motivated me to learn the skills to draw a face.  Fear was my friend and I had treated her like my enemy.  Oops.

I went to the canvas with the intention of painting on the missing nose but what I heard Fear say was, “You might ruin it with paint.”

Instead of just blindly reacting to the fear I started to think about it.  Fear was right. I might ruin it with paint because I didn’t remember what paints I had used so long ago on this painting.  The color matching issue, even if close, would bug me.  Really bug me.  Since I was thinking instead of being frozen by fear I realized that watercolors were the way to go.  They were translucent so the color matching issue would be easy to correct.

They are easily removable if my first attempt is not what I want.  I can’t ruin it with watercolors.

Now that I am listening to fear instead of running from it, I began to notice things I wanted to improve in the painting – like the hair.  Watercolor is my friend.

Next I started to wonder why I never put a neck on her.  Was she meant to be a floating ghost head?  Who knows, but that is the next area for me to work on.  For now, I want to enjoy my Diet Coke with my new friend, Fear.

*After reading this post, my dear hubby said, “I thought Fear was more of a Mountain Dew type.”

“She might be, but I offered her a  Diet Coke.”

Want to see more painting?  Check out all the great artists at Paint Party Friday!

I have been stuck lately.  Stuck.  Stuck.  Stuck.  I got tired of being stuck so I just tried something.  I dug around in my junk basket – a basket full of scraps, leftovers, and abandoned project parts.  Once I started doing I felt a little less stuck. It felt like rocket science when I was in the middle of it but now it just seems so obvious.

A background page I made long ago with gesso and who knows what to make the yellow and blue.  I tend to make backgrounds, especially when I get new supplies that way they are ready when I start a journal page.

One of Julie Balzer’s Crafter’s Workshop new stencils added a bit text to my page with orange Glimmer Mist.

Added the main elements.

She looked a bit strange without a head and arms.  Cut up a copy of a vintage photo.   The word, which so summed up how I got moving on this page, took the place of the arms.

She looked just placed on the page so I colored her hair with Peerless watercolors- so soft on the glossy photo. When I started working on the legs with the Peerless watercolors it was a different story.  The text paper was very absorbent so the color turned out so dark.  At first I didn’t like it, but I had started so I saw it through.  Turns out, I like it better darker.  Happy accident.

The “try” was just too plain. In came the Gelatos to the rescue!   The red swirl, a new punch I bought, needed more than just the red so I used my Inktense pencil to add a darker red to it.

Still felt unfinished.  A bit of fine line marker edging and scribbling to add a touch of definition.  Now I was happy.

Linking up with Just Journals and Julie Balzer’s Art Journal Everyday.