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Promised Too Much

Been a bit stressed lately. Ever felt that way? I promised more than I was able to do- I wanted to be superwoman, but I’m not. I am a regular human. I have to see this through so I have to find a way to get through it. It is almost over but almost can feel like a very long time…

My feelings have been hurt, I have felt taken for granted, my focus shifted from where I wanted it to be (so I am pushing it back where I want it), I have been doing my best and it just doesn’t seem to be enough AND it all led to self doubt. Once the self doubt kicked in I knew I was in trouble so I turned to my secret weapon. My ally who has never abandoned me no matter how tough the fight – my paintbrush.

What makes my paintbrush such a dear friend is she doesn’t offer sympathy. She doesn’t let me whine. She just tells me to…

When I am moving the brush around the paper that’s when she whispers to me. She reminds me of my strengths, the gifts I have to offer to the world, and all the joyous things in my life. The stress recedes, the anxiety diminishes, and the self doubt retreats. I am feeling like me again.

I am starting to feel human and I will get through this thanks to paint!

Would you like to see more painting? Jump on over to Paint Party Friday!

{ 36 comments… add one }

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  • Kat May 24, 2012, 3:57 pm

    Hello Carolyn I’m happy painting is helping you. I too believe you just have to paint and let it out, express and relax. Painting is such a voyage, it can be fun, light hearted or intense and deep…I love the different nuances it can take, depending on our feelings and emotions of the day. Best wishes to you Carolyn, have yourself a lovely week-end! xx

  • iamrushmore May 24, 2012, 10:22 pm

    paint, paint and paint some more. please yourself first and foremost. the fact that so many of us are also pleased by what you do is icing on the cake πŸ™‚
    may this time pass quickly

  • Joyce May 24, 2012, 10:50 pm

    I am a recent new reader of your blog, but even I can feel your pain here. I am well acquainted with overbooking myself, and know the frustration that alone can bring. Then add to it what you have described here….I can’t even begin to imagine. So glad that you picked up your paintbrush! What an amazing transformation from the picture of those first strokes, to the next picture you posted. What a blessing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and feelings….and your art.

  • jane w. May 24, 2012, 11:05 pm

    good girl! PAINT πŸ™‚

  • Rita McGregor May 24, 2012, 11:18 pm

    Being committed to too much and that sudden recognition that you are in over your head and are going to fail deadlines is such a heavy sensation to me that it feels almost like drowning. When we have been superwomen (by the skin of our teeth) people expect us to always be so. We can get very taken for granted. People are shocked when we miss the mark. But we set ourselves up to be the superwomen in the first place, so we can change it…change the expectations other people are allowed to have of us. πŸ™‚

    Your art is obviously a place where your soul can search and rest and refuel. Wonderful!!! That’s who you are. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • Lynn May 25, 2012, 12:55 am

    I am so glad that you have been able to recentre and remember your true self Carolyn. We are so blessed when we find a pathway that can take us back to our true selves and that well of inner peace that we find when we get there. Hang in there.

  • Rinda May 25, 2012, 1:35 am

    I am SOOOO much more pleasant to be around when I find time to paint and create.
    Hugs to you,
    Rinda

  • AJ May 25, 2012, 2:00 am

    {{{Carolyn}}}
    Thinking of you and sending your love.
    AJ πŸ™‚

  • Valerie-Jael May 25, 2012, 3:22 am

    Feel better soon! Valerie

  • Marilyn J. Rock May 25, 2012, 7:42 am

    Great way to relieve stress and we get to see super results! Also; congrats on your studio being in the publication.

  • Carol May 25, 2012, 9:33 am

    Carolyn ~ we all go through that and paint is your friend ~ I am too! ~ Be gentle with yourself and true and all will fall into place ~ Thanks for being you ~ namaste, ^_^

  • Marji May 25, 2012, 9:58 am

    Finding ourselves in our art is so grounding. I’m happy to hear the paintbrush never lets you down… but, you realize she is the voice of the beautiful inner you. I need a PAINT painting. I think this is a wonderful painting to see each time entering the studio. Perfect. Happy PPF!

  • Denise May 25, 2012, 10:02 am

    I totally agree Carolyn. Art is so healing, put the world into perspective.

  • Terrie: Creative Explorer May 25, 2012, 10:03 am

    I’m sorry you’re in a stressful situation right now – but this too shall pass, right? And there are lessons here if we can just remember them. Women often over-commit – why is that? My husband rarely over-commits. Is it a female thing? Whatever the cause, I’m glad you have a way to relieve and redirect the feelings and stress. Art is the great cure-all! Loving the idea of your page and those cheerful colors. Keep smiling! (and sharing!)

  • Maria McGuire May 25, 2012, 10:25 am

    Paint away my friend! I’m here if you want to talk, you know I understand πŸ™‚

  • Annette G May 25, 2012, 11:40 am

    Painting is a great way of relieving stress and yours is very dynamic. Happy PPF, Annette x

  • Susan May 25, 2012, 11:47 am

    Love this! So loose and beautiful! And look what negative energy created it (and you left that energy on the paper). Art (or the brush) is a wonderful friend.

  • Cris, Artist in Oregon May 25, 2012, 12:11 pm

    Oh yes.. painting or any art is a big stress reliever.. You get into a zone and let it all go. thanks for you comment on my blog post. Happy PPF.. keep painting.

  • Kristin Van Valkenburgh May 25, 2012, 1:17 pm

    Awe, hugs to you!!
    It IS so amazing what a little paint (and alone time πŸ˜‰ can do! Wishing you a fun, stress free weekend to beautiful YOU!
    xoxoxoxo

  • minnemie May 25, 2012, 2:36 pm

    OH yes to paint! It is great therapy and it helps heal those painful holes.

  • Faye May 25, 2012, 3:08 pm

    Love the bright colors, Carolyn. We have probably all been in the “promised too much” place at one time or another. Like Terrie (above) I also have a dh who never comments on my art. I take that as negative criticism when it probably isn’t.

  • Corrine May 25, 2012, 3:30 pm

    Me too me too and when the stress gets too much I just paint more! LOL Paint, paint, paint….you go girl. xox

  • Paula - Buenos Aires May 25, 2012, 7:01 pm

    Great to read you could find comfort and grounding in your art. ItΒ΄s awesome to see so much loving support for you here. {gentle hug}

  • Tracey Fletcher King May 25, 2012, 7:21 pm

    We have all been there and painting has saved each and every one of us… I always think that over promising is the sign of a generous heart and spirit and the only down side is that people do take advantage and take you for granted, but I have to say you are appreciated and I know you will bounce back quickly because you are a gorgeous resilient woman… if painting ever lets you down you could always try chocolate… works a treat for me… xx

  • Giggles May 25, 2012, 8:24 pm

    “I have been doing my best and it just doesn’t seem to be enough,” isn’t this a song!! Pretty sure I’ve heard these words before!! I doubt we can get by as a woman without feeling like this at sometime or another! It taught me to make serious change!! I am so proud of you for turning to your paint brush! Wish I knew about it sooner in my life time!! I’m pretty sure you have allies in all of us at PPF !!! You go girl, and I’m wishing you love and light for the week ahead!! Keep spreading that paint around and block out the negative thought…..you are one woman,….just do what you can!! Stream line your life, put more joy into it, and knock those energy drainers off the list!!!

    Big sincere hugs!!
    Giggles

    Hugs Giggles

  • Mary C. Nasser May 25, 2012, 8:37 pm

    Oh, I love how you describe your paintbrush as an ally!
    So glad you keep painting!
    β™₯β™₯β™₯
    Happy PPF!!
    Mary
    Mixed-Media Map Art

  • mandy at eight is enough May 25, 2012, 11:30 pm

    oh…hugs…i feel stress every day…but i guess i live with it and work through it, and yes i paint, and you have described how i feel when i paint perfectly….paint is a friend…xxx

  • Tat May 26, 2012, 8:48 am

    It definitely helps, I discovered that last week, too! Hope you are feeling a lot better.

  • Kristin May 27, 2012, 1:54 am

    Oh my dear, Caroline, I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling down. {{hugs}} Art can be so therapeutic. I hope you feel better soon. Happy PPF!

  • Ginny May 27, 2012, 1:42 pm

    Carolyn, you are enough. Without having met you, you have given me so much through your ability to share who you are, what you are feeling and thinking, and your wonderful art. I am so glad that the painting helps you to remember how very special you are!! Hope you are having a great weekend.

  • Cowgirl Red May 27, 2012, 5:26 pm

    Thanks for sharing your journey. And what took you to the other side. Your beautiful art. Congratulations on the magazine. That is very inspiring. Have a wonderfully creative, stress-less week. Terah
    P.S. I’ve been too busy lately and I feel the pain….. all over.

  • Ayala Art May 28, 2012, 1:20 pm

    Oh, yes! Paint… and then paint some more. :o)

  • JKW May 29, 2012, 12:44 am

    oh dear, I don’t feel so lost when someone else is feeling pain too. Love your honesty and that you actually went ahead and did PAINT something. Blessings, Janet PPF

  • Za faran May 29, 2012, 4:56 am

    WE have ALL felt this, so, keep painting.
    You know, I feel gad that I have paints and brushes and a mind that can blank out everything when I create a painting.
    Looking at this painting, I can see you smiling and feeling better by the end of it. So, here’s my wish to bring on your {{sunshine}} , that we, your fellow bloggers have been getting from you! πŸ™‚

  • Scarlet May 30, 2012, 4:46 pm

    Your bright color and PAINT message have inspired me. I have to dig for my brushes and acrylics!

  • june in Ireland June 2, 2012, 3:14 pm

    Wonderful post, beautifully expressed. Yes, I think most if not all of us have felt this way when we’re in a bad or sad or distressed place, wanting so very much to get back to where we were, before the negativity took hold and tried to keep us there. Painting, as you’ve so thoughtfully and beautifully written, is an excellent antidote and remedy for what’s ailing us, inside. Your words have inspired and uplifted me – thank you for sharing.